Ever walked out, stopped a passing auto, innocently hoping to reach your destination on time in a hassle free manner, only to be looked at as though you were a space alien, with big round eyes n antennae sticking out of your head? What did I do…what did I do? I only said ‘meter ke hisaab se chalna’! beeeeeeeep…wrong instructions! You see, we are Bangalore city…and the strange little device you see peeking over the left hand corner of the driver’s chair…that is something devised to make mathematicians world over question their theory of distance and rates. To the unassuming, 7 rupees a km would mean exactly what it seems…1000 m traversed at the cost of 7 rupees…but for our mathematical and linguistic genius handling this 3 wheeler, it means ‘7 rupees or more for every km’! Fine line of distinction, you would say!

Ok…even if they were mathematically and linguistically challenged…you are still a space alien…coz now you see…you have a hearing disability…its not 15 rupees…its 50! Its not 50 rupees, its 50 rupees extra! Can’t you hear?! Don’t you know the rules woman!? Extra is not actual cost + abc…but actual cost = actual cost + abc…eh??????? See….I told you I was a dud at math! It doesn’t make sense to me…but apparently it makes a whole lot of sense to them coz they look at me in absolute defiance…as though I broke the code by asking for a fare by the meter.
It’s not just the fare that has a code. There is a whole rule book on who will drive you where. You see, it is a complex matrix of their names on one side, mapped against a database more massive than that maintained by the bureau in America. It has the address of each driver, his preferred driving routes, his leisure spots, nap time, meal time, haircut appointment dates, barber, preferred shopping destinations, preferred eating joints blah blah blah…and if you want a ride, you need to pledge to learn by heart this matrix and approach anyone asking for a ride that clashes with the above at your own risk! And in case any cell is blank in the matrix…don’t worry…it always means ‘No’!

So, to save you the stigma of being labeled as a lunatic and demanding commuter, I’m listing the basic rules here for your ease of reference …
- ‘Meter’ is taboo
- ’20 rupees extra hota’ means ‘I’m a reasonable man’
- Always re-route your plans to match that of his highness
- Change your destination if you have to, but never dare to ask them to change their mind, that’s against the code and could land you in jail!
- Do not disturb a group of chatting royals, they are currently plotting an increase in earnings, and you could end up being the guinea pig
- Take a hike…seriously…it’s good for health and cheaper!

Happy commuting!

It’s been a long day…and all I want is to go home…

I trudge towards my cab and wait to reach the warm comfort of home…

As we traverse through the traffic though a different story unfolds…its not the bed of roses I was praying for…it’s a nightmare tugging at all the negative emotions that I could possibly feel at the end of a long and tiring day…we start moving at a slow pace…it feels like the hands on my watch have stopped ticking only to make a long jump by the time I cross a mere 0.5 km…the jam clears…and my heart leaps! Maybe I’ll still be home soon…euphoria! I smile…today’s going to be different…A sudden break…the police man stops the traffic…the balloon is punctured…All happy emotion fizzles out…and I shift back to the dark and never ending depths of frustration…frustration at the system that takes 30% of my money and makes me rot…I want to scream…I want to pound the vehicle that cut across my path and delayed my crossing the signal…the horns blare around me…echoing the tiny red dots exploding in my brain…echoing my frustration and helplessness at the fact that it is but all that I can do…the hand goes up and he lets us by…we move at the pace of a funeral march…my eyes are glued to the red green and amber dots…as we approach the next signal…and all I know is that I want to go through…I don’t want it to turn red…a silent phrase plays on my lips…’come on…move…move…move’…and…it turns red! Dismay…it feels like a conspiracy sprung upon me by those innocent looking lights…they know I want to be home…but they will show me who’s the boss on the streets…the minutes keep piling on…the distance barely creeps…exhaust smoke rises all around me…higher and higher…engulfing me in the black nothingness…slowly the horns die out…resigned to their fate…slowly accepting the fact that it will be a while before home arrives…

Sifting through the 'Pensieve'

Why is it that a walk down memory lane presents itself at the more innocuous turns…at a moment when u least expect it to come?

Here I am watching a movie featuring a bunch of 20-somethings…a fresh take of a run-of-the-mill story…and I can’t help but remember my college days…

Yes…Jaane tu…is a story of fresh college grads…friends who don’t realize they are in love etc etc…but wt clicked is that the cast made u believe that they are actually college kids just graduating…they made u sit back n go down that road again…living each memory as though it were playing again in front of u…

I remember my first walk through the corridors of BITS, Pilani…the dreary yellowish-cream walls of the bhawans…the cold metal beds in the hostel rooms…the cold almirahs…in the heat of august, everything was cold…devoid of emotion…devoid of warmth…devoid of welcome…for 17 yr old me…it was a demon in the guise of an institute! U just knew that anyone walking looking at the ground had to be a fresher…maybe someone u could trust to be safe with…but if the person coming towards u was checking u out, looking for a hint of hesitation in your walk, then run! Run for your life, for here comes the devil a.k.a. ‘a senior’!

Slowly…’cold’ BITS Pilani became warm…so warm that the thought of going home on those special holidays would make us come up with the most bizarre explanations of why we wanted to stay back at BITS…and then the 4 years just went past…just like that…

In Jaane Tu…the ‘peppy’ lead lady breaks down coz she realizes that the 5 yrs have gone by…she asks ‘Paanch saal kahaan gaye’? Only to get possibly the most classic repartee...’On the phone beta...on the phone’…yup…it made me think of the time (four and a half yrs ago…though it seems like…just now…) when we were walking through those same halls n corridors n wondering…’Four years…where did they go by’? I wouldn’t say on the phone…we were more of a campus where it was C’not…audi…bhawans…gate calls etc…crazy pranks…truth or dare…pealing laughter through the corridors when we were supposed to be in class…midnight parantha meals handed to us over the gate…OASIS…

Yea…maybe we didn’t have a ‘Ranjhod ka Rathore’ mounting a horse to catch a glimpse of his dame…but we did have equally ‘Ranjhod ka Rathore’-ish (?) guys mounting their faithful bicycles…coming towards their place of worship ‘Meera Bhawan’ and the ever reliable watchman saying ‘Room No xyz…Gate Call’!

Yea…maybe we didn’t have a hero run towards the airport to stop his love from boarding the flight to another land…but maybe (I say maybe coz it never happened to me or anyone I know!!!) we had someone riding his cycle to the Nutan bus stand like his life depended on it…to stop his love from boarding the bus to the nearest city! (ok ok…maybe I am exaggerating…but who doesn’t…it feels nice sometimes…)

But the one thing that really made me miss BITS the most…was probably the scene where the guy’s friends throw naughty smiles n go ‘OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’ when he wants to go for a walk with this girl…yes…that was definitely the same…the same sly smiles…the same ‘OOOOOOOO…good luck…have fun’…just the same…

Yes…sometimes…the most unexpected sources do take us back to some of the best ever moments…

Sometimes we need to search for them…sometimes they are right there…so until I encounter the next one…I’ll keep looking…