Count your blessings….

Nothing is permanent. And that is a reality that has been driven home and driven harshly in recent times.

Its scary the way a moment changes your lives. Its scary how extremism can rip apart everything you’ve lived for. Its scary how your life is no longer in your hands…I thought about it and realized that I take so much for granted in my day-to-day life. The presence of a loved one, kind words, a smile, a hug, a phone call…my job, the monthly credit into my account, freedom…food, shelter…my space. I never stop to think what I would do if I didn’t have all this or any of these tomorrow? What if I had ‘my space’ and noone to share it with?

What if I extend my hand and find no one to hold it? What if someone reaches for me and doesn’t find me there? The thought is so scary that I can feel my insides turn to ice and I actually start shedding tears. And all this is just because of the thought.

Then what about those whose world was rent apart when the twin towers went down? When the tube ripped apart miles below ground level? When the daily trip home turned into a bloodbath on a crowded local train? When the innocent-looking cycle blew to pieces anything and anyone around it? And many many more such incidents. What did they do wrong? And worse still…what about those they left behind? Those unfulfilled dreams now left behind like a painting half-done or a story half-told? Plans nearing completion or just at inception…what happened to them? Were those left behind able to move on? Can the void ever be filled? What about the regret for all the things that should have been said / should have happened, but couldn’t any longer? Who will be the deliverer for all these innocent lives, marred for as long as they live?

I can still feel the numbness at these thoughts. And all I know is…count your blessings…count what you have today…count ‘who’ matters today. Share life, time and whatever you have with those you want to share it with. Prioritize today. We never know what tomorrow brings.

My thoughts go out to those affected by 9/11...and all other innocent lives ever affected by an action the cause of which was far removed from their daily lives…

Some days are meant to be a comedy of errors…yet some others are meant to be “Oh God kill me please…please please please!”…yet some others are “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa……..” days!

I recently had an “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……” day…believe me!

So I woke up as usual…happy that I booked my cab the previous evening…breakfast good…maid on time…cabbie calls at 8:25 to confirm he has arrived and is waiting on the main road….yippeeJ
Happily fed n thankfully free of a cold, happy me walketh the walk to the main road…humming the “singh is king singh is king singh is king…toietoietoie (my rendition of the instrumental bit)” I progress to the point opp the ATM where my cabbie awaits…BOINNNNNNNNNG! No cab….now where the hell did he vanish…so I called him n he says “madam I am opposite the ATM madam”…fearing that my eyesight had finally broken all connection with my mental faculties (whatever teeny bit I have left….before my frns out thr can comment on that…) I looked all around…auto guy…mom dragging kid to school…nope…no cab. So I called again…tring tring tring…..no reply…call…tring tring tring…whatever happened to this guy?

As I was on my first “moooooommmmmmmy”...voila…he picked up! “1 min madam…I am coming”….ok…so the 1 min ticked from 8:34 to 8:45….my laptop’s getting heavier…I call again…”2 min madam”…and so the story continues…till 8:55…”where are you? Tell me the truth or I call ur cab company!” “madam actually…thoda confusion ho gaya...ek aur passenger liya humne”….lots of $@^$#&^%*%* later, I stooped levels and approached my best friend Mr. Auto-driverL ya I knw…me guilty as hell after having pledged off this mode of transportation….”madam pls come back madam….pls madam” says cabbie…but me ploughs on anyway…me reached a good half hour late to the client’s office n saw the bright rays as the day progressed…

3:00 PM…time to book evening’s cab…cab company 1: “Sorry madam…cabs on strike…we have no cabs”….cab company 2: “Sorry madam…no cabs…strike today”….cab company 3,4,5…”mommmmmmmmmyyyyyyy”….voila…company cab will pick us up at 6:00 PMJ “wah kya dimag paya maine…kya idea tha!”

6:00 PM…we sit in the cab n eeeeeeeeeeeshhhhhhhhhhh! What is that smell? We ask the cabbie n he starts rambling away on his phone in a language I cannot fathom! “8532756gwbanmbbfu98732y985y “smell” %$#@!&%(~^(& “battery”E$*@!^#$%*%^^&$$E%!$#@”….ok…so I gather something’s wrong with his battery…but its ok…the car is running…wheeeeeeeeee…….splutter splutter splutter…”madam cab wont start”…”mommmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”…so we ploughed on ahead on foot…the rain gods didn’t help…BBMP n the pathetic state of the footpaths (really?!) definitely didn’t help…slush…water…laptop…rain…cell phone…umbrella…pyjama getting dragged on the road…no auto stopped…if there were a transportation god, I’d say he was taking a break…why me? A/c Volvo to rescue…I get in to go home after a 500 m trek in “slushvilla”...n its home sweet home after 45 more painful n excruciating minutes…

Anyway, the result of the mayhem was a chemical reaction (wet hair + air conditioning = cold n cough)…or is that physics? I don’t knw!!!!

Ever walked out, stopped a passing auto, innocently hoping to reach your destination on time in a hassle free manner, only to be looked at as though you were a space alien, with big round eyes n antennae sticking out of your head? What did I do…what did I do? I only said ‘meter ke hisaab se chalna’! beeeeeeeep…wrong instructions! You see, we are Bangalore city…and the strange little device you see peeking over the left hand corner of the driver’s chair…that is something devised to make mathematicians world over question their theory of distance and rates. To the unassuming, 7 rupees a km would mean exactly what it seems…1000 m traversed at the cost of 7 rupees…but for our mathematical and linguistic genius handling this 3 wheeler, it means ‘7 rupees or more for every km’! Fine line of distinction, you would say!

Ok…even if they were mathematically and linguistically challenged…you are still a space alien…coz now you see…you have a hearing disability…its not 15 rupees…its 50! Its not 50 rupees, its 50 rupees extra! Can’t you hear?! Don’t you know the rules woman!? Extra is not actual cost + abc…but actual cost = actual cost + abc…eh??????? See….I told you I was a dud at math! It doesn’t make sense to me…but apparently it makes a whole lot of sense to them coz they look at me in absolute defiance…as though I broke the code by asking for a fare by the meter.
It’s not just the fare that has a code. There is a whole rule book on who will drive you where. You see, it is a complex matrix of their names on one side, mapped against a database more massive than that maintained by the bureau in America. It has the address of each driver, his preferred driving routes, his leisure spots, nap time, meal time, haircut appointment dates, barber, preferred shopping destinations, preferred eating joints blah blah blah…and if you want a ride, you need to pledge to learn by heart this matrix and approach anyone asking for a ride that clashes with the above at your own risk! And in case any cell is blank in the matrix…don’t worry…it always means ‘No’!

So, to save you the stigma of being labeled as a lunatic and demanding commuter, I’m listing the basic rules here for your ease of reference …
- ‘Meter’ is taboo
- ’20 rupees extra hota’ means ‘I’m a reasonable man’
- Always re-route your plans to match that of his highness
- Change your destination if you have to, but never dare to ask them to change their mind, that’s against the code and could land you in jail!
- Do not disturb a group of chatting royals, they are currently plotting an increase in earnings, and you could end up being the guinea pig
- Take a hike…seriously…it’s good for health and cheaper!

Happy commuting!

It’s been a long day…and all I want is to go home…

I trudge towards my cab and wait to reach the warm comfort of home…

As we traverse through the traffic though a different story unfolds…its not the bed of roses I was praying for…it’s a nightmare tugging at all the negative emotions that I could possibly feel at the end of a long and tiring day…we start moving at a slow pace…it feels like the hands on my watch have stopped ticking only to make a long jump by the time I cross a mere 0.5 km…the jam clears…and my heart leaps! Maybe I’ll still be home soon…euphoria! I smile…today’s going to be different…A sudden break…the police man stops the traffic…the balloon is punctured…All happy emotion fizzles out…and I shift back to the dark and never ending depths of frustration…frustration at the system that takes 30% of my money and makes me rot…I want to scream…I want to pound the vehicle that cut across my path and delayed my crossing the signal…the horns blare around me…echoing the tiny red dots exploding in my brain…echoing my frustration and helplessness at the fact that it is but all that I can do…the hand goes up and he lets us by…we move at the pace of a funeral march…my eyes are glued to the red green and amber dots…as we approach the next signal…and all I know is that I want to go through…I don’t want it to turn red…a silent phrase plays on my lips…’come on…move…move…move’…and…it turns red! Dismay…it feels like a conspiracy sprung upon me by those innocent looking lights…they know I want to be home…but they will show me who’s the boss on the streets…the minutes keep piling on…the distance barely creeps…exhaust smoke rises all around me…higher and higher…engulfing me in the black nothingness…slowly the horns die out…resigned to their fate…slowly accepting the fact that it will be a while before home arrives…

Sifting through the 'Pensieve'

Why is it that a walk down memory lane presents itself at the more innocuous turns…at a moment when u least expect it to come?

Here I am watching a movie featuring a bunch of 20-somethings…a fresh take of a run-of-the-mill story…and I can’t help but remember my college days…

Yes…Jaane tu…is a story of fresh college grads…friends who don’t realize they are in love etc etc…but wt clicked is that the cast made u believe that they are actually college kids just graduating…they made u sit back n go down that road again…living each memory as though it were playing again in front of u…

I remember my first walk through the corridors of BITS, Pilani…the dreary yellowish-cream walls of the bhawans…the cold metal beds in the hostel rooms…the cold almirahs…in the heat of august, everything was cold…devoid of emotion…devoid of warmth…devoid of welcome…for 17 yr old me…it was a demon in the guise of an institute! U just knew that anyone walking looking at the ground had to be a fresher…maybe someone u could trust to be safe with…but if the person coming towards u was checking u out, looking for a hint of hesitation in your walk, then run! Run for your life, for here comes the devil a.k.a. ‘a senior’!

Slowly…’cold’ BITS Pilani became warm…so warm that the thought of going home on those special holidays would make us come up with the most bizarre explanations of why we wanted to stay back at BITS…and then the 4 years just went past…just like that…

In Jaane Tu…the ‘peppy’ lead lady breaks down coz she realizes that the 5 yrs have gone by…she asks ‘Paanch saal kahaan gaye’? Only to get possibly the most classic repartee...’On the phone beta...on the phone’…yup…it made me think of the time (four and a half yrs ago…though it seems like…just now…) when we were walking through those same halls n corridors n wondering…’Four years…where did they go by’? I wouldn’t say on the phone…we were more of a campus where it was C’not…audi…bhawans…gate calls etc…crazy pranks…truth or dare…pealing laughter through the corridors when we were supposed to be in class…midnight parantha meals handed to us over the gate…OASIS…

Yea…maybe we didn’t have a ‘Ranjhod ka Rathore’ mounting a horse to catch a glimpse of his dame…but we did have equally ‘Ranjhod ka Rathore’-ish (?) guys mounting their faithful bicycles…coming towards their place of worship ‘Meera Bhawan’ and the ever reliable watchman saying ‘Room No xyz…Gate Call’!

Yea…maybe we didn’t have a hero run towards the airport to stop his love from boarding the flight to another land…but maybe (I say maybe coz it never happened to me or anyone I know!!!) we had someone riding his cycle to the Nutan bus stand like his life depended on it…to stop his love from boarding the bus to the nearest city! (ok ok…maybe I am exaggerating…but who doesn’t…it feels nice sometimes…)

But the one thing that really made me miss BITS the most…was probably the scene where the guy’s friends throw naughty smiles n go ‘OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO’ when he wants to go for a walk with this girl…yes…that was definitely the same…the same sly smiles…the same ‘OOOOOOOO…good luck…have fun’…just the same…

Yes…sometimes…the most unexpected sources do take us back to some of the best ever moments…

Sometimes we need to search for them…sometimes they are right there…so until I encounter the next one…I’ll keep looking…